Aside from being a terrible song, the above title is an excellent question, and one that Rachael posed to me the other night. Like any spur of the moment question requiring a well thought out and articulated answer, it was one that was difficult for me to answer. Her instantaneous answer was that is was having already had an interest in, and having a thurough knowledge of whatever you were loving.
I didn't like her definition and she didn't like mine, so we broke up.
About breaking up.
I felt that knowledge was too cold and lifeless an awareness to be love, and offered "self sacrifice" as another option. That didn't seem so good a definition either. Rachael also pointed out/accused my sacrifice of having limits. It probably does, but i pointed out that self sacrifice must be something done by one's self, not done for one's self. and i did make that sacrifice when i made it. (i know you are reading this, so don't accuse my sacrifice of having limits! [sucka] there are people i would die for, i am sure of it.)
I then offered what I could remember of the Fiddler on the Roof's definition from 7th grade. Actual lines from the script are as follows.
The first time I met you
Was on our wedding day
- I was scared - I was shy
- I was nervous - So was I
But my father and my mother
Said we'd learn to love each other
And now I'm asking, Golde
Do you love me?
I'm your wife.
But do you love me?
Do I love him?
For years, I've lived with him
Fought with him
Starved with him
years, my bed is his
If that's not love, what is?
Then you love me?
I suppose I do.
And I suppose I love you, too
So what is that? Is that truth? Does the funny feeling i get in my belly when i walk under an umbrella with you in the rain to wendy's have nothing to do with love?
I think it has something to do with it. It at least plays a role. I was once told that when you are feeling that feeling, when you melt when you look into another's eyes, you are "falling in love" and only when you truely commit to someone and will do the sort of things for someone like Golde and Tevye did for eachother that you are "in love". Is that true? Does that even make sense?
It seems to bear some significance, at least in that love might have two (or more) separate phases or types or degrees or something.
Because, i mean, i would say that i love lots of things. I love the bouncing souls. i love my friends. i love my family. i love my team. i love my bike. i love life. i love sitting on something high off the ground and watching the sun go down beneath red and orange clouds. I don't neccesarily have a thurough understanding of any of them, and i havn't neccesarily sacrificed myself or my possessions for them. Also, i wouldn't say i love any of them for any perticular reason really.
Do i get to choose who and what i love?
Isn't love a feeling?
When did these concepts get so hard to define? Didn't i find out what it meant to me some hot and boring summer day in my parent's basement? Don't i already have all of this worked out?
Do all questions of this nature beget more questions?
i am not asking any of you (both of you?) who still read this peice of shit to answer. i just want to pose questions. If anyone has any good responses holla atcha boy, but if you just think i am a douchebag, that's cool too.